i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize