I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
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