the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I want to fling myself into the sun
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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