A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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