So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.