You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks