hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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