Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
