i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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