If that was your dad, he is hot
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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