Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
