White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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