Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
