her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
