In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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