We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize