If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
