I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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