My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
