Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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