i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
