marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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