No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
