we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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