Apparently you make a good broom.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
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my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
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I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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