loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
