DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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