Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
is it fun? or sober?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
