we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I fill condoms, not promises.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
