you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
