when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
You don't make any sense
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