ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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