On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
operation harelip BJ is a go
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
