Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
