# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
