And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
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I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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