just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
