Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
