I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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