i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
