I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
