Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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