you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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