He is such a slut. More and more my type.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
