You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
