dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
