it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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