It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
