capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
