Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I faked an abortion last night.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
