i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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