if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize