dude i'm inner monologue high
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
In other news, I just burned my penis
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
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