She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
