Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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