I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
