I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
