no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
My vagina just recognized that song.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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