You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
