i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
