Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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